I was just talking with the new girl at work and we were chatting and I asked her if she had kids. She aid yes two girls. She asked me and I said no and she sighed like Oh…

WTF? So then I told her that I can’t have kids and Joe and I are considering adopting in a couple years.

Why is it that if you are of a certain age people expect you to have kids? And if you don’t it is like some type of crime or something? I always have to explain myself. And at the same time I have to separate myself from my feelings about everything. Because if I stood there and talked about the fact that I am unable to have kids for too long I would end up breaking down.

Life throws you punches, this I know is true. And I am trying not to have a pity party for myself… But why is it that everything that happened to me happened before the age of 40?

And why did it have to be no kids and and a heart defect?

But I know I have to turn it around and think of it differently. I have to think. Not able to have children means we can give a deserving child a home. And I had a heart problem I didn’t know about, but at least I am alive. I try SO HARD to put a positive spin on things.

Some days are much harder than others though.